Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Trim Food Poisoning Spa Baby!!!

- Went to the beach house this past weekend. SUCKED MY DONG. Little did i know that my so called weekend of relaxation was to be marred by the presence of my fucking satanic evil devil cousins. They aren't really my cousins, they are the 3 sons of my cousin, but here in the south we call everyone cousin, that or auntie. Anygay, these little shitstains proceed to not only break a sliding glass door, but also decided to play a fun game called "Bite Cousin Cornelius When He is Passed Out Due To Overconsumption of Vodka". I have bite marks all over my body, it's rather disgusting. It looked like i lost a sexually charged game of twister with Marv Albet, Mike Tyson and Saly Struthers (She's a biter too, y'know). God help me if I decide to have sexual contact with anyone before these things heal...I saw them in the mirror and i was definatley the lead in a Lifetime movie co-starring Tyne Daily and Judith Light. But to top me getting cannibalized this weekend, CoCo got himself some food poisoning. Bad News: I vomited in my hair and into my cupped hands and then threw it out of my window onto ecologically sensitive seashore...Good News: I lost 8 pounds, and my neck and shoulder muscles have never looked more toned. My Mom warned me I shouldn't have eaten that Sushi from the Truck Stop in Virgina...but it looked so good, and $2.50 for 2 California rolls??? I had to have it. Ohhhh and it being bitten and having mouth abortions all weekend wasn't as lollypops and rainbows as everyone may imagine, My car (actually my brother's which i am now driving for cas conservation of course) decided to die on me, at aforementioned truck stop of sushi death. I had to whore it up to a lady with a grand total teeth count matched her IQ so she would find someone to put in a new battery for me. Fuck this weekend, Fuck redneck sushi, FUCK MY COUSINS (waste of sperm) and Fuck You!!

Here are some funny French and Saunders sketches.....



1 Comments:

At 10:26 AM, Blogger shumakes music said...

I love F&S and it's nice to know that someone else around here loves 'em too. Look at my baby!!

 

Post a Comment

<< Home