Sunday, August 20, 2006

Reunited and it feels so good...


- Sorry about the long absence...Miss Christy spilled a cup of vodka and crystal light all over my laptop, which effectively erased all of my saved passwords including the one to this blogger account. Now I have a brand new MacPro (Which I an orally pleasuring at this very moment because it's so fucking hot), miraculously remembered my blogger ID and password and will be back to writing about how fucked up I am and how I punch babies because my parents chose their careers over hugging me. Some things to ponder until I post again...

- My ex (and possible baby daddy) is moving back from London to DC, umm, shit ladies, shit...

- I have decided to move to London after graduation to repeatedly attempt to stab Alistair Appleton in the bum with my gentle bits...

- I am moving from DC to Annapolis in ohhh, about, 10 days. Goodbye Death Capital, Hello solitary drinking and Naval cadets...

- My job basically requires me telling men and women (really mostly women) that are running for the senate and congress that they look like shit in their publicity pictures and need to take all the money they used for TV commercials and invest in some serious plastic surgery. It's awesome, so far I have reduced a 60 year old Vietnam vet who is running for office in Colorado to tears because I told him his suit "Looked like he found it on a blind retard"...

- Whilst being a chantuese at my local gay/country western/karaoke bar, I managed to work the words "vagina" and "pussy", and the phrase "Spend a lil money on me to see my pussy" into the sing-along classic "Hey Big Spender".Oh I was a hot mess...

4 Comments:

At 9:06 AM, Anonymous Miss Christy said...

Awww i'm glad you finally remembered yo' shit!!! And i'm glad you like your new comp-- my bank account isnt so glad but it's all good ;-)

omg i am really sad now that Dom and I didnt go to remmingtons... we sooo need to do karaoke at Latin Jazz Alley again!!!

 
At 4:31 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Get to London!

 
At 3:32 PM, Blogger Carrie Broadshoulders said...

she lives

 
At 7:26 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

boring twat.

 

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