Thursday, May 25, 2006

Hot (and tall) mess...

- Quick recap of yesterday... Lunch date with French diplomat, Got wasted at 1pm. Had chugging contest with said diplomat involving a $75 bottle of red wine. Went to Ben's place, commiserated about being young and hot. Went to kickball game. Was the gayest cheerleader ever, Declared myself "Jesus" at my kickball game and called an opposing player's mother a "Slut-assed-kitten fucker". Went to Tom Tom's, Played flipcup, FELL ON THE GROUND!!! I was so drunk Ben had to put me in a cab. Oh yeah, I also BROKE MY TOE!!!!! (Not really, but it feels that way). I now have a fucked up finger and a fucked up toe. Loverly. I was so drunk (and in so much pain) last night when I came home, I tried to duct-tape an icecube to my foot. My sheets are all fucking wet and I have about 20 yards of industrial tape covering my foot. So, Now, It comes to this...Me, sitting here, naked from the waist down, wearing my kickball shirt, eating Wheat Thins, giving you a METRO WEEKLY WATCH!!! (Super drunk 7am edition).

- Crouching Twinks / Hidden Homo












- OH NO!!!















- OH YES!!!!
















- Does she realize she has an ass parked on her chest??





















- (Guy on left to guy on right) Wow, that sideways hat takes off 20 years. (Guy on right) So that would make me...umm...40. (Cries silently in the rest room)













- (Internal monologue) REMEMBER MY NAME, FAME!!! I'M GONNA LIVE FOREVER, FAME!!! I'M GONNA LEARN HOW TO FLY!!!


















- Crappy Haircut?? Crappy Haircut?? Yes, Hi, Your table is ready.









- How did this pic not make it into the mainstream media feed?? Or into my heart?














- (Singer) You are toxic, I am slipping under... (Pianist) I think I am having a heart attack.






















- "We wipe our arses with $100 bills, then have casual, anonymous sex with migrant workers to stay grounded".



















- JANET RENO!!! Someone is not letting Parkinson's get in her way of making out HARDCORE!!!












- Is it still ironic if they are ugly??



















- My humps. My lovely lady lumps.

2 Comments:

At 10:01 AM, Blogger Dale said...

you were a site to see lady!!! I tip my tiara to you.

 
At 11:37 AM, Blogger Taylor said...

okay you read my mind with the MW watch pic selections

 

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