Friday, April 21, 2006

Room-mate-ing Rituals

- I knew it was going to be a fabulous day when I stepped onto the platform at the foggy bottom metro station and saw a midget, wearing a black leather blaze, with his full sized girlfriend. Jesus was like, "God Bless you Cornelius, here's hoping you have a splendid day". Besides the sight on the platform, when I get home from class, I have an email from a potential roommate asking me to tell her a little more about myself. Well this was interesting, apparently I am not applying for a room in her "Spacious Adams Morgan Rowhouse", but rather for a date. She sent me a fucking questionnaire with random questions and I filled it out and sent it off. Below are her questions, my "I would be a great roommate" bullshit answers I sent to her / what my real answers are that I didn't send to her (hoe would think I am crazy). Doesn't this bitch know that everyone she sent this out to is going to lie to look good. Oh well...

LAST SONG YOU LISTENED TO: "Touch the Sky" - Kanye West / "Sweet Sixteen" - Hillary Duff

UNIQUE FACT ABOUT YOURSELF: I was born on a farm that has been in my family for over 200 years / I have eaten a dove

GREATEST ACCOMPLISHMENT: Seeing my niece being born / Getting a blowjob on the metro...During rush hour

JOB: Full time student and part time hill intern / Professional masturbator and George Foreman grill operator

PRIZED POSSESSION: Laptop / my crotch tattoo

WHO IS MOST LIKELY TO VISIT YOU HERE: My friend Christy / My friend Christy, and we will probably be drinking, and that means we will most likely be somewhat naked, but not sexually, we just are close friends like that, nothing to freak out about.

LAST CONCERT SEEN: The Go! Team / Homeless man singing Kelly Clarkson at the metro station

FAVORITE MEAL TO MAKE: Tandori Chicken Salad / Coffee and a lit cigg

FAVORITE PLACE IN DC: Embassy Row / The alley behind Cobalt

Here's hoping that she likes me!

3 Comments:

At 3:35 PM, Anonymous christy said...

i bet those are the same questions Dr. Phil asks on match.com... here's hoping you find a place WITHOUT crazy hippie girls!

 
At 10:19 PM, Blogger Taylor said...

it's a nice tattoo

 
At 12:26 PM, Blogger Cornelius said...

Oooohh Taylor, you are scandalous

 

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