Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Pictures make everything better...

- So I ran into one of my real good friends from high school today on 25th Street. He was all "I am surprised you are not in prison" and I am like "Whaaa happened?" And he says that apparently the screaming match that I had with my two previous best friends at our 5th year High School reunion had mutated into me punching two girls in their faces and then stomping one of them in their trice abortioned gut. How did this "Days of Our Lives" rumor get spread like a preacher's daughter on prom night??? Like herpes... it was spread by the bitches who I got in an argument with. They are soo living in suburbia and do not approve of my "City life" also known as having sex with men. So I told my friend that I could care less about what the gas pumpers and Barnes and Noble workers back home think of me, but I just wanted to let the public (my readers who i love so much) know that I am not a woman beater, the only thing I beat is my meat, and the hairless Thai house cleaner that my roommate and I have held hostage for the past 4 months.

- To secure my place in your hearts, I have pics of my puppy, an "artsy pic of my apartment" and me and my roomie...


Drink Drink Revolution


Red is the new hetero


FIRST SNOW!!!!


Babycakes all up in yo grill


I am truly blessed to wake up to this

3 Comments:

At 1:35 AM, Anonymous captain peecock said...

Oh, CornNut, my little spoogemeister!

It's so good to see your cyooot face again. Now, how about some shirtless pix of your hairy chest! Just a request. And you have such finely manicured nails, too---a sign of good grooming {i.e., you like to keep your rosebud and skinflute scrubbed and fresh}. Is that the window where you like to make hot sweet-man and sweet hot-man love?? One of these days I wanna schuck that countrified cornstalk o' yers and slather it with my spicyful boy butter!!

 
At 1:38 AM, Blogger Cornelius said...

No dice unless you have some Old Bay.

 
At 12:09 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I imagine Old Bay is what some 60 year old rugmuncher's camel toe smells like once all her pubes have gone gray.

 

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