Saturday, February 11, 2006

No fucking lie...

- This is the first V-day card of the season that I received...Needless to say, it is from the "woman's group" (bible dykes as my father and I call them) at my family's church...Nothing like the big old JC to make ya horny in this season of showing your undying love by dipping your danger zone into chocolate. These bitches got my DC address from my brother who gave it to them as a prank. They send me cards full of anti-gay love every fucking weekend (they know I am a mo because I yelled at my Pastor one Sunday during service while he was talking about the downfall of the family). My favorite ones are the ones sent by Mrs. Whitcombe-Ashe, she likes to write "personalized" messages about the Lord's salvation in her cards after a few shots of tequila and they usually end up including some "sailor speak".



PRAISE JESUS!!!!

4 Comments:

At 12:19 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

may all your VDs be special ones!

are you and Mr. B going out for a romantical din-din?

 
At 6:50 PM, Blogger Taylor said...

In college I used to get these care packages from my parents' (and mine i guess) Southern Baptist Church. They were all kinds of homebaked goods, which were cool, but they all had some bible verse on them. I mean, how do you pick a bible verse for brownies? "And the lord said, go forth and eat these brownies and do good things. And don't be gay in god's house."

 
At 11:14 PM, Blogger Carrie Broadshoulders said...

Send them back a pack of cigarettes (with a pack of matches from the local gay strip bar) and a thank you note that says your boyfriend really loved the card. Include a picture of you and him fucking like bunnies. They'll love it. You might even make the weekly church bulletin.

 
At 1:03 PM, Anonymous miss christy said...

send me a myspace message with your email address. i tried to send you a v-day e-card but i dont think i sent it to the right one. kthx!

 

Post a Comment

<< Home