Monday, February 27, 2006

A hot sexy weekend full of inter-racial dirty thoughts...

- Went to the parent's farm for the weekend. It was my dad's big 5-0 so all my family and I got together, rented a limo and went out to a Capital Grill for dinner. It was a blast, the food was delish, but it was a tiddle bit uncomfortable when my brother's local celebrity wife got hounded for pictures in the middle of our meal by two drunk businessmen. Oh well, par for the course I guess.

- Now onto my lost weekend of inter-racial mastubatory inducing thoughts -

- Took my (2 WHITE) parents to see MADEA'S FAMILY REUNION. HILARIOUS!!! That movie made me wanna pee my pants. I purposely bought tickets at the local "African American" theatre, because I felt that seeing this kick-ass film would be even more kick-ass surrounded by people talking to the screen, which I am also guilty of. Gurl I was not even prepared for the sea of sexy men that this film was overflowing with. Everytime one of the studs appeared onscreen, the crowd went CRaZy. I even heard my mom "Holla" at Boris Kodjoe...

and then whisper "Jesus Christ" when this guy got some camera time.

I swear to God, Tyler Perry is like the Michael Lucas of black men, he has the creme de la creme of sexy actors working for him.

- On to fantasy # 2, BATTLE ROYALE!!!

If you have never seen or even heard of this movie, you need to check yourself. Do you love Asian school children? Do you love Asian school children being kidnapped by the government? Do you love Asian school children who were kidnapped by the government chopping each other up with swords and having their necks explode when their magic dog collars get tampered with??? If you said hell yes to any of these questions, well this movie is definitely for you. I am a huge foreign cinema buff with a warm spot in my heart for ultra gory Japanese Films. Like the oh so popular Japanese version of "The Grudge", horror films from Japan take everything over the top times infinity. Total out of control-ness. Here is a quick run-down of the film...A group of 7th grade classmates are kidnapped by the government and taken to a deserted island. They are told that their insolence and laziness is the reason why Japan suck man heat. So the government decided to take a bunch of these little hellians and have them kill each other off to instill a sense of self awareness and humbleness in their cute lil asses. They have to realize that all their "fast living" does not make them adults, apparently shooting the class valedictorian in the neck with a crossbow does. Only the one strongest, deadliest student can survive. If more than one student is left at the end of the "game" then the little dog collars they are wearing around their necks will explode, HOT. So basically after the beginning 15 minutes of set-up, the kids are let loose on this island and proceed to hack apart, poison, and chop each other's heads off with hatchets. I totally eat this shit up. I was watching it with Miss Christy who I went to high school with and the whole time we were like, "I totally wish our school did this, we would own shit". So the one hitch that is thrown in is that there is a previous "game" winner that is playing again this time. He is straight up SEXINESS with a capital FUCK MY BRAINS OUT...

All of this coupled with the incredibly realistic special effects (no CGI bullshit) make this a great family film for the upcoming Easter Holidays!! Pop some corn, pour a soda and prepare yourself for projectile vomiting.

Ok enough movie reviews, I must go back to downloading interracial pornography.


At 10:15 PM, Blogger Taylor said...

I saw Diary of a Mad Black Woman at Union Station at night, and let me tell you something, the crowd was as funny as the movie. I think I was literally the only white person there.

Can't wait to see Madea's ... the bitch cracks me up.

Oh and hot mens? Let me tell you something, even with the dreads Shemar Moore in DoaMBW could still melt my butter. He was the hottie-mchottienest in those Old Navy commericals a few years ago with the shaved head.

At 8:51 AM, Blogger Dale said...

Wait your school wasn't like that? when I was an exchange student in japan I was on some sh*t like effing go go yubari in Kill Bill Vol. 1. without the whole nail in the head thing.


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