Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Daddy's getting drunk...

- Well tonight is the night. The State of the MUTHA FUCKIN Union!!!!! Holla back Condi, Put your walking cane in the air Chaney. I know Smith Point is gonna be a clusterfuck of messy Junior leaguers and their mutually masturbating trustfund boy-toys. So since I am not allowed within 50 feet of the Bush twins, I will be spending the evening in, remote in one hand, jug-o-wine in the other. The State of the Union Drinking Game is a DC tradition. In the past, my record stands at 2 jugs-o-wine by the end of the speech. HOT! So because I love you readers soooo much, I will share my game with you.

Purchase 2 jugs-o-wine (or any booze you like, but must be able to be swigged or taken as shot)

Take one swig (or take one shot) when Retardo...
Loses his place in the speech,
pauses for forced applause,
mispronounces a word in the English language,
mispronounces a foreign country or Head of State,
does the "Bush" chortle,
mentions Alito, Roberts or Tranny Truck (Miers),
mentions terrorism,
hints at terrorism,
mispronounces terrorism,
mentions bi-partisanism,
mentions Texas,
mentions the drunktastic tag-team (Babs and Jenna),
pretends to care about Coretta Scott King,
mentions Roe v. Wade,
or whenever you get a lil thirsty.

The speech starts at 9, I am guessing, if I follow these simple rules, I will be drunk by 9:05.

God Bless America AND NO ONE ELSE!!!!! (especially the gays)

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