Monday, November 07, 2005

What's a synonym for Chinese lube????

- Because of my incredibly kick ass job, I got preview tickets to see DC's slightly less addictive version of crack...A baby panda!!! I have no idea what his real name it, some incredibly old man kept calling it "CHING CHONG", and then whispered to his grandson that he'll just call him "Charlie", how touching, and racist. All of my asian brothers and sisters were representin'. I swear to god I wanted to skin that cute little bitch and wear to Jr's just so people would feel me up and stick bamboo all up in my face. And I know all those rich ass dowager bitches were thinking the same thing. It is truly amazing that the sight of basically a tailess skunk can make grown ass women soil their sensible Talbots pant suits. I of course took time out of my day to accidently spill my soy latte all over the back of some bitches stroller. I am pretty sure she would have clocked me if it wasn't for that roly poly ball of pubes licking the floor that makes everyone A-O-GAY. Bonus points for me and my friend Sean that told a girl that the Butterstick she was mentally masturbating to was really a robot because "the real baby panda was attacked by his mother". I love me some nature bitches.


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