Thursday, November 10, 2005

TRUE LIFE: I's gonna be a lawyah

- So as you know I am studyin / working my ass off not to jeopardize my acceptance into Georgetown Law School. All this work and no play makes Cornelius a dull / mentally unstable boy (but I didn't have to tell you that). I have currently been up for 36 hours, working of a fucking legal brief that my professor thought would be fun. He thought it would be fun because his high on meth ass thought it would be fun to replace the normal Jane and John Doe plaintiff and defendant titles with the names Carrie Bradshaw and (Mr.) John Big. It wasn't enough that I had to condense about 300 pages of case law into 2 pages, but get this, Plaintiff Bradshaw is suing Defendant Big for breach of contract and intentional infliction of emotional distress when he renigged on a promise to take her to Balthazar for dinner and buy her a pair of Jimmy Choos. Jesus Fucking Christ, as if being a law student isn't going to be gay enough, he just HAD to throw in some SEX and THE CITY references. Well chil'rens, Cornelius went a little batty around hour 26. I now present A photo diary taken by a kid I mentor (who now is deathly afraid of me) as I took of my spiral into the black dickless abyss known as Lawyerin'...

- Fill me up Jesus

- after 27 pages condensed into 3 paragraphs

- Brain orgasm, all over my powerbook

- My friends never question my love


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