Friday, July 08, 2005

New post upside your head

Some things daddy likes:

- The tranny that came into the bar on Karioke night and sang "I've got the Music in me" by the Kiki Dee Band. Bitch turned it out then was found passed out in the bathroom...oopsie poopsie!

- Coffee, really good coffee. None of this watery 7-11 bull shit but some grade A java that makes you wanna slap your mama. Once I have one cup, someone really could slap my mama and I would just brush it off because the ensuing fight might make me spill my precious beverage and that would not be good.

- Seafood. Being from Maryland and being raised with the Patuxent River in my back yard, I am highly critical of seafood restaurants that charge 28 fucking dollars for a crabcake that taste like ass. I demand nothing but the best when it comes to seafood and I found my new favorite place, my parents even liked it. It's called Hank's Oyster Bar and it's on Q street, where the old Trios was located. They have the best oysters and the hottest waiters. If you are in DC definitely go there.

- My fraternity brother Chris, has a new website. This kid is fucking hilarious. His site recounts his crazy nights fucking chicks and boozing. He was the one that actually encouraged my crippling alcoholism when I lived in my fraternity house. If there is an open bar in the DC metro area, you can be sure he would be there shirtless with some bitch from Rockville's titty in his mouth. Isn't that a lovely mental image.

- The TV show, 30 Days, by Morgan Spurlock, the guy from Super Size Me. It comes on FX and is worth a watch. The last episode took a straight religious Midwestern boy and sent him to the MUTHER FUCKING CASTRO DISTRICT. Boy was gonna get raped. He lived with a faggola and went out to clubs and gay groups and all the normal faggoty stuff. The best part was when he went to a gay club and he is sooo straight that he just had to assert is hetero-normalcy by taking off his shirt and dancing like a fag on a go-go box. Yeah enjoy that dick up your ass straight boy.

Now some things daddy don't like...

- The multi culti tard fest of a commercial that is the new Pepsi ad. A bunch of ethnically ambiguous model/waiters/tricks sing on a rooftop about a soft drink. If I ever caught bitches doing that on my roof, I would gleefully beat them to death with their "vintage" guitar and then roll their lifeless bodies off the roof and onto K street. LOVERLY

- The new Tanqueray commercial with that smug bastard known as Tony Sinclair. This retard glibly asks if you are "ready to Tanqueray"...Bitch I would not Tanqueray with you if my testes were on fire and you had an extinguisher.

And not related whatsoever...

- Currently watching Ghostbusters, I forgot how much I loved that movie. Does anyone realize that Bobby Brown is in it playing a doorman at the mayors office? HOT. When it came out my older brother and I used to stick the vacuum cleaner tube to my little brother's stomach and tell him that we were sucking the demons out of him, we were fucked up. That's all before Nay-Nay our sassy black nanny found us and made us pray for the next three hours for god to take the evil out of our hearts.


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