Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Who wants to date a Corneliusanaire????

- Over my years of living in our Nation's Capital, I have had the esteemed honor of dating some of DC's most eligible bachelors. Like Jerry Hall (with more booze and less evening gowns), I had my pick of some great and not so great guys, all of them should have been KEPT, but unfortunately they went the way of Ricardo (sans the striptease). The thing that sucks is after the fireworks have long subsided, I end up fucked because it's kind of uncomfortable being friends with these exes, plus their new beau's hate me catching up with them. What follows is my impression of them, what would appear in their profiles on the VH1 website perchance...

Luca - My first, boy was he awesome. Brazilian, played soccer, made kick ass caprihana's that got my 18 year old ass drunk at his sprawling colonial manse in Cleveland Park. Kind of lost touch when I officially came out and slutted it up for a while. Is now "married" to a great guy and we touch base every once and while. Just think, Cornelius could be gay married by now if I would have played my cards right. I would have finally gotten that soup tureen from Tiffany's I have been coveting so bad.

Justin - G-town student, I fell head over heels for him. Wasn't drop dead gorgeous, but the most amazing guy I had met. I was soo in love his gay ass I made him a fucking mixed tape, heavy on the Fiona Apple and Mazzy Star, how gay is that? He now lives in Boston with his lover.

Frankie - My gentle giant/Ken doll look-alike. We'll prolly get married in Copenhagen down the road. Was my first real "relationship" as in met his friends, had dates, picked me up in his mom's fly car. We still see each other every once and a while. Shares a work space with a sassy black lady which has warped his sense of humor and decency, which makes him even more lovable.

Dito - Dupont royalty, awesome guy who I thought fucked me over only to realize he was teaching me lessons on how to survive in the bitchy ass world of DC fags. Has a great dog that loves me because i'll take him to the dogpark whenever he wants.

Adam - Smart guy, sucks that we no longer talk.

Fernando - Still up in the air, smartest person I have ever met. Knew something special was going to happen the first moment I saw him, still trying to figure out what happened/is going to happen.

- I could write a book on each of them, but I was recently talking to a friend on why I am the kind of one date relationships (go on one date, have a great time, then it goes no where), he said for me to write what went great with all the people I had more than one date with and try to figure out what caused it. I guess this entry is my online equivalent to laying on a leather couch. Have so much more to write but must go lay on the roof and get tan.

Have a great week bitches


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