Friday, June 24, 2005

Update, Masturbate, Lactate, Haterate

- I haven't posted in a while because my computer sucks balls, bring on the Apple powerbook...if only I had something to blackmail my parents with...

- Pride was stupendous. Christie and I got caught peeing in public not once, but twice!!! Like Little Orphan Annie told Miss Hannagan, "When you gotta go, you gotta go", too bad it didn't work on the bull dyke / Hulk Hogan look-alike that gave me multiple pressure points while I was trying to drain my lizard.

- I lost my cell phone. Because I sweat Kia's balls so much, I too am getting a Blackberry. I will now be the most important looking person at my weekly sex parties, besides Anderson Cooper.

- Harry Potter is a great movie...CrossRoads on the other hand, not so much. It made me retarded, I had to go buy a helmet after watching it.

- It is summer so you know what that means, my apartment is filled with a flurry of international eurotrash friends that want to live in DC for the summer but feel no obligation to find an apartment to sublet. Currently we have 2 Indians, 1 Austrailian, and 1 Russian living in my place. To top it off, I have been hooking up with South Americans...I am like a gay, slutty foreign service outpost.

- Is it normal to get bruises while having sex, or does that make me a mascochist...or a porn star?

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