Sunday, May 01, 2005

Why I am a bingo playing, Chinese twin adopting, leather bar working, gay black man who wants to have sex with freshmen...

- I went to drag bingo on tuesday with crazy fisting girl (see previous post) and another cool chick from my class. Well stupid traffic cone sitter done forgot her ID...Sorry bitch, but your ass has to go home. I really liked how the tranny told everyone you were the ugliest dyke she had ever seen. I also was very inebriated and was wrangled into showing my cock and balls to a gaggle of cross-dresser and a room full of strangers, thank god the 1% of me that is black is my dong. The one fierce tranny did tell me I had to trim my bush, I told her to trim her wiskers, I don't think she was too amused.

- I went to my friend Brian's 21st b-day. SHIT WAS OUT OF CONTROL!!!! Not only was the loverly Mizz Kia in attendance (drunk off the Cornelius-tini's I made her and her own fabulousity) but there was a plethora of freshly glittered twinks in attendance. Now the theme of this party was "crazy dress" which means dress unlike yourself. So I ditched the polos, and lobster embroidered khakis for this sassy Vivienne Westwood mesh shirt I picked up in NYC. Needless to say that the other twinks interepreted the dresscode as shirtless, drunken slut. I seriously had to try very hard to keep my mandingo in my pants. Brian lives in New Carrolton, which is in the ghetto, and as we were smoking ciggs on the veranda, we were offered a myriad of drugs including, but not limited to weed and pills. Cause you know us crazy fags love us some pills sold to us by a man named Chardo-ney X-Treme. As the evening progressed, I managed to shout out some Corneliusisms at the lil faggolas like "I'll pee in your mouth" and "You gave me the 3rd best head I have ever had". Much to the chagrin of my friend Carter (who I am slowly corrupting) I offered his place up for a pot party and fourgie after the b-day was done. Needless to say, that would have been hot. We ended the night by going back to Carters, passing out and watching x-men for about 17 hours sans butt-sex. It was tres bon. I also realized I want to have sweet man love down low with one too many freshmen.

- I love my work, as you may know, I work in a leather bar, but for what it lacks in attractive bitches that I can spit my game at, it more than make up in money. Cornelius opens a beer, closeted married guy out for tail tips Cornelius 5 dollas. Well to my sweet suprise, I met a hot ass mutha that gave me his email. Well I have never gotten an email before, I have gotten #'s, screen names, but never an email. Dear readers, what does this mean? Hopefully it means, "I will be your lover, lets move to Logan Circle and adopt twin Chinese babies and name them Tron and Jaun".

- If you have never seen "Tongues Untied" a movie about the black-gay experience, you must rent it. Not only does it have catchy rhymes involving a plethora of racial slurs, but it also gives you a tutorial on how to SNAP!! You see there is a "Medusa Snap" to be used by people with long hair when trying to convey inportance and there is also the "Point Diva Snap", which draws attention to something you want someone to see. I totally feel like a gay black man now. Also reccomended..."Paris is Burning" all about the black gay experiance in the early 80's NYC with lots of voguing which we all realize is the gay national past-time.

- My best friend Aja just moved to NYC to be with her lover Brett, I wish them many chil'rens and good times.

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