Monday, May 02, 2005

Rev. Phelps is FAG-TASTIC!!!!! (and swallows)

So I was bored tonight while trying to write my paper. I was flipping through the TV and stumbled upon the new show by perrenial showmen Penn and Teller. It's called "Bullshit" and basically debunks all the right wing conspiracy theories. Well tonight's debate was on su-prise, su-prise HOMOS!!!! Well they mentioned the one very sassy Rev. Phelps and his God hates fags rhetoric. They also gave his website addy and boy oh boy does it have some interesting facts about me and my friends that I wasn't even aware of like...

-In one study, the average fag fellated somewhere between 20 and 106 men, swallowed 50 seminal discharges, had 72 penile penetrations of the anus, and ingested feces of 23 different men EVERY YEAR. (Work it out bitches!!!!)

-The median age of death of fags is 42 (only 9% live past age 65). This drops to 39 if the cause of death is AIDS. The median age of death of a married heterosexual man is 75. (Better buy those Pradas now ladies!!!!)

- Of fags questioned in one study, 43% admitted to 500 or more partners in a lifetime, 28% admitted to 1000 or more in a lifetime. ('Cause me so horny!!)

So, what did we learn???? I apparently need to stop this student mentoring thing and start eating some poop and I need to start ass-plowing every lovely lad I see because I want to reach my 1000 partner average before I croak at 42. Who's gonna help me reach this oh so noble goal??? I'm looking at you Anderson Cooper...


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