Saturday, April 02, 2005

I'm Hired (job) and Fired (love life)...

I just got a J O B. It's gonna rawk hopefully. I am barbacking and fill in bartender at a gay bar. Alcohol + Gay men + Money = Happy Cornelius.

I went on a date last night. First one since my becoming single a lil over 3 months ago. Well I had seen this guy around the way for a while and he was just my type. He came over for a few drinks before we headed to JR's and come to find out he knew my ex and had gone on 5 dates with him at the same time my ex and I were calling it quits. God bless the incestuous gay community in our nation's capitol.

Anyway we went to Jr's and who does he run into, his ex's best friend. Well I was immediately on my own, so I met this great guy named Raul, he was also my type ( I am starting to think that my type is gay male). Well we conversed, laughed, found out he was in a fucking relationship. Um...Ba'scuse me? Why the fuck did you talk to me if you were in a relationship? I told him that his boyfriend was very lucky to have someone like him. He then went on to explain that he and his boyfriend are on the outs. Ummm Mixed signals, your table is ready.

So we continue having amazing chemistry the whole night and I decide to pay my tab and head out. I tell him bye and he asks if he could come back to my place. Me being the nice (horny) person I am, totally oblige. I mean it's been a while since I "Dropped down and got my eagle on", but hey I am always up for a tip drill. So the entire cab ride he was telling my all about his boyfriend because you know that is such a turn-on. We get to my place, my doorman shoots me a look that says, "Peek-a-boo Hoebag, I see you's be tricking again". I mouth "EAT ME" to him.

We get to my door and I go to open it but something is blocking it...My passed out roommate. Nothing says make sweet man love to me like an Indian girl, skirt hiked up to her back, lying in vomit on the floor to set the mood. Well this is nothing new to me, Nish and I always pass out in front of our door, we pretend we're watchdogs, drunken watchdogs...but that's another posting. So he sees me kicking and literally dragging my roommate out of the foyer by her arm and bounces.

Strike one for Cornelius and his experiment in dating. If it wasn't for my roomie with a B.A.C of 500, him having a boyfriend, or me being on a date with someone else, I think I could have tapped some mighty fine ass last night.

Oh well lets hope tonight at my SUPER SWEET 23RD-TEEN PARTY I'll be luckier...and nakeder.


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