Sunday, April 24, 2005

Forgive me father for I have sinned...and looked great doing it.

Dear Readers,

Thank God I am not fucking catholic, bitches have to confess all their dirty deeds to their padre. I think I would be excommunicated umm lemme see about 3 minutes after walking into the booth. So since I don't have a padre to confess to, and Jesus has an away message up (I think he's avoiding me) I decided where better to unburdened myself than my very own, tragically fantastic blog.

Some of my more recent sins and other confessions..

- I fucked a deaf boy from Galludet, yeah I know everyone and their alky mother are cringing, but hey he was hot and was on the swim team, I was hard up and best of all I didn't have to search for music to "stick it to him" to. Plus he taught me how to put captioning on my TV, SCORE!!!!!!

- I masturbate way too much, I mean admittedly I didn't start tossing off until I was 17, I had had sex before masturbating, so I figured if I could get it from my slut cheerleader of a girlfriend whenever I wanted, what's the purpose of it. But in all seriousness, sometimes I am late to meet friends because I find a new website, I even got a fucking virus on my computer because I just had to see this one movie. I think I need a new hobby...any suggestions?

- I'm addicted to DC public access TV. It's really fucking shitty and the only shows they have involve big old black gurls "modeling", doing dance routines to edited rap songs, and all around tip-drillin. I look forward to skipping my French class so I can watch this trainwreck.

- As PC as I try to be, I suffer from mild internalized-homophobia. I just don't get some fags. I never was one for dancing to the latest Cher remix, or gossiping about how big so and so's dick is. I think that's why the majority of my friends are straight Indians or frat boys.

- I really want to take on a luvah. I look around at some of the people I am acquainted with and honestly they aren't anything special, but why do they have luvahs? I think I just need to open up and realize not all gay men are retarded, meth snorting sluts...It was just the men I used to date. Where are all my rich, funny, intelligent, homos? Oh that's right, they are already dating someone else...Fucking monogamy.

- I'm really scared about graduating. My entire life, if I fucked up, my parents were there for me, either financially or emotionally. They were there through my eating disorder, coming out, and deciding to move to DC. I am starting to realize that they aren't always going to be able to send me $100 whenever I ask them. Being an adult excites me but also terrifies me at the same time. Will I always be alone, putting my work before myself? I don't know but I think I'll be ok, always have been. I am looking forward to being an independent adult...Sometimes.

btw - I saw "The Interpreter" today...Save your $8 and sleep at home, instead of at the theatre like I did.

Love,
Cornelius

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