Thursday, April 14, 2005

Cockslapping a building????

It's Thursday...another college night at Apex another ANIMAL WATCH!!!!!! This one doesn't have to deal with a pet per say, but it does have to do with a drunken bird with the word COCK in it's name...JAM!!!!!

Actual Animal Watch from The Washington Post April 14th edition.

Woodcock Strikes Building PENNSYLVANIA AVE. NW, 1700 block, March 29. An animal control officer investigated a report about a woodcock that had struck a building and was lying on the sidewalk. When the officer tried to pick it up, the bird flew across the street, where it hit another building and fell. The officer caught it, and it was transferred to a wildlife rehabilitator.

A few things....

- What bonnet wearing, hand-jobs for Squanto settler gave this bird the name "Woodcock"? I would have preferred "Flying Jazz-ma-tazz", "TronBird"or something of the like.
- This bird was obviously so overwhelmed by Jamie Fox's portrayal of blues great Ray Charles that he was trying to pay homage by running into buildings, just like my father did after he saw the movie.
- I am pretty sure that "Wildlife Rehabilitator" is ANIMAL WATCH speak for either birdy Betty Ford clinic because this bitch was drunk, or for TRASH CAN, cause it prolly has West Nile virus and honestly who gives a flying fuck about something called a Woodcock outside of the Dupont neighborhood.

BTW - I have my call back interview with the lovely folks from Real World/Road Rules this weekend, wish me luck bitches. You know I would rule the school on this shit.


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