Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Six degrees of Wondermentalitations

One- Hey listen up white boys..I have a lil secret for ya, IT'S 30 DEGREES OUTSIDE!! You dumb bitches that walk to class with your shorts and flip flops are a disgrace to WASP's everywhere. This is not Fucking Boca bitches. My friend Kia thinks we're all crazy and you are just supporting her argument. Please cover up your chicken legs, and not with leg warmers, for thou shall recieveth a Slice and Cut twice over.

Two- To the hot ass boy in my class that I caught staring at me today. I love it when you laugh at my Out Of Control social commentary. I am currently single, smart, hot and have a nice sized wiener...just thought i'd let you know.

Three- Last semester as one of my classes me and a gaggle of assorted fags, lezzies and Queen Bee Fag Hag Kia went around to fraternities, frshmen orientation classes and sport teams on campus to talk about diversity. It usually digressed into me saying something about brown love or extolling the virtues of having your prostate milked. Anyway, I missed one of these speaker panels yesterday and Kia was there and she ended up giving a jock a Slice to the 10th degree because he said that his friend gets wood in the group showers after football games. Well Duh future high school gym teacher. I just wish I was there to tell him all about my experiences in various locker rooms, that would have shut his mongoloid mouth up.

Four- I am going on spring break in 3 days, I just found out I landed a well paid internship with The Human Rights Campaign for the summer. That means I get paid for working with hot and smart fags that throw great parties. Things are great except for my lack of dick-ercize. Would the boy I mentioned in Point Two please come over and watch "Living It Up With Patti LaBelle" (actual show) with me.

Five- I finally sent out the Evites for my 23rd Birthday, so far I have 3 friends bringing guys that want to blow out my birthday candle(wiener)...must start doing lunges ASAP.

Six- I got cruised again tonight at the Safeway in the Watergate. He tried to talk to me but I was caught off guard and had my headphones on so I looked at him like he was crazy...GOOOOOO CELIBACY!!!!!

PS - To the man I met in the "Ethnic Foods" isle, I expect a missed connection to be posted on craigslist within 24 hours.

Cheers Bitches

1 Comments:

At 12:29 AM, Anonymous Kia said...

You are the living embodiment of OOC.

 

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