Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Open Letter to some people in my classes

Stupid Gay Boy: Please stop fucking me with your eyes, everyone, including the teacher knows that you are a glitter farting bottom. When you smile at me in class, my cock retreats into my lower abdomen.

Crazy Girl Who's Parents Obviously Smoke Crack: It's bad enough I have to look at you but when you open your mouth you make me want to fall onto a sword. Just because you are a stagehand for Taming of the Shrew doesn't make you cool. I think the saddest part is that the theatre dorks refuse to talk to you. You really need to loosen that fucking kerchif you tie around your nasty ass hair. Kisses!!

Sullen Korean Girl: What the fuck is your deal. Did your hipster-poseur card get revoked? You look like a man, and smell (not to stereotype) like Kim-Chee, and bitch, I love kim-chee, you ruined it for me and i'll hate you forever. SLICES FOR YOU!!

Fatalie, the girl who masturbates with Walt Whitman poetry: You sit on the loser side of class, and yes whenever you hear me and my hot friends laugh, WE ARE LAUGHING AT YOU. You can't fit into the desk and your fifteen dollar words impress no one except for...

Crazy Adult Education Student Guy: You sir are my favorite. I think it's honorable that you are taking a junior level class when you are what...46? Your cruising has not gone unnoticed Chester the Mollester. Your little quirks like raising your hand so that your palm is facing you is, how do you say...the bee's knees. Yes it's not just you that thinks it, but everyone knows that whenever you say something, I will raise my hand and contradict you. All my friends hate you and Fatilie wants to have your babies and name then Emily Dickinson and Walt Whitman. Shave your Goat-tee, you are middle aged for fucks sake.

Stupid German Girl: You are in my burn book, not only because you still think it's acceptable to use the word "Negro" in class but also because you have really shitty skin. You pronounce you name differently every fucking class, I am just gonna call you Von Douchenbag. Your shitty vocabulary is not protected by diplomatic immunity. Please shut your mouth before I convince the really Jappy girl that sits next to me to cut you.

Ok well enough hateration in this danceria. I am off to study for my midterms...

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