Friday, March 18, 2005

Can we go to the meat-packing district??

As I get ready to shove off for a well deserved spring break, I thought I would leave a post for all ya bitches to suck on while I am away. I'll try to post while on vacay but in all honesty, I will prolly be having group and/or public sex, and I don't wanna break the laptop.

I am a loser, you wanna know how big of a loser I am???? I write down what I am gonna blog about as it happens. I know, very Lois Lane of me. I am that loser who carries little yellow post-it notes all over the place looking for some social commentary.

I finally got my readership up to THREE PEOPLE!!!!! Kisses to Ajra Kuntzel, Kia Chillin-hall, and Sarah from Loehmans...SLICES TO ALL OTHERS!!!

The majority of the time that I am in public, I am in my own little dreamworld. Sometimes this manifests itself in my little quasi-A.D.D. fueled runway shows on 25th street NW or in the ally between 25th and I street NW. I always have my mp3 player on and bitches it's full of sashaying music. Rupaul, Scissor Sister, David Bowie, The theme from Sex and the City, and many others that get me all hot and bothered. I can put Mizz Tyra "Big ass Forehead" Banks to shame. Sometimes it's to the grocery store, where I pretend I am in an episode of Sex and the City, or on the metro where I listen to the same Joss Stone song (super duper love) over and over again pretending I am in some zany romantic comedy...but with fags. Welcome to my world, you weren't invited but, you bitches can't leave.

So I live in a nice area of our nation's capital. I like all the amenities it affords like centrality to all attractions, such as Ralph Lauren, and Starbucks. One thing however I do not like is the lack of 40 ounce bottles of beer (or 40's as they are known) in my neighborhood liquor store. Did I mention that my Liquor store is in the Watergate Building? I have seen Libby Dole perusing the Pinot Grigios and Ben Stein (Buehler? Buehler?) buy some red stripe beer. But this liquor store has no 40's, I have to schlep to Dupont to buy my Schlitz Malt Liquor. I digress, the point of this story is that the sommelier (wine expert to you PWT's out there) is GORGEOUS. He's a sassy eastern European mix, tall, dark, handsome and oh by the way...HE WANTS ME. Yesterday I was perusing the bottles looking for some vermouth, and he walks up to me and starts talking. Well finally the convo turned from martinis to my-wienies. Well not really but he gave me his number and wanted to take me to a wine bar in capital hill. SCORE!!! He also gave me two really nice martini glasses gratis!!!! A hottie that works in a liquor store...Perfection.

I have a question. What is up with some bitches email addresses? Ok so I have to do a group project with these 3 hoes in my French class. We exchanged emails before break so we could get in touch and discuss what we are doing. Well this one bitch's email address was something along the line of GLITTER RAINBOW KITTEN HUGS!?!? What the fuck bitch? What ever happened to using last names or first names for your email? This bitch rubbed me the wrong way and all she did was give me her email addy...I am going to CUT her.

Ok I am off for a luxurious spring break, see you bitches on the flip side...


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