Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Because I Believe I am a 16 Year Old Girl...

To you not blessed enough to know me or have a class with me, I am truly fucked in the head. My mom swears she done smoked no crack, but sometimes I honestly believe I live in a magic world inhabited by SeanCody.com models and kittens that sing Garbage tunes. Case in point, My Evite for my 23rd b-day party. Most people go classy with a nice dinner, some drinks and dancing. Me on the other hand...

ACTUAL EVITE SENT TO FRIENDS, COWORKERS, AND SOME FAMILY FRIENDS -

You've all seen those hoes on MTV try to throw a party. Now come join Cory in his very own...SUPERSWEET 23RD-TEEN PARTY!

My wealthy and emotionally detatched Iranian parents will be attending. We have a totally sweet oxygen bar, pony rides, Pauly Shore and shirtless waterpolo players. I will be flown in by helicopter with Cee-lo and his daughter and will be leaving in my brand new Range Rover, because daddy doean't know the word "no". Rumor has it that Lil Bow Wow might be making an appearance because he wants me in a video or something. SWEET!!!!

In leui of presents just bring a bottle of wine or whatever and some Cosmo Girls!!! YM SUCKS!!!!

For those without their driver's liscences (LOSERS!) the party is like a 3 minute walk from the Foggy Bottom metro station. GLAMOROUS!!!!

We will be partying here until my alcoholic mom throws up on a Saudi Prince and accuses my dad of trying to buy my love. Then we will head out to Adams Morgan or Dupont, so bring your fake I.D.'s TRES JET-SET!!!!!

Bring whomever you want, as long as they don't go to that public school in the next town over where that girl got pregnant by the teacher. GRODY!!!!!

This is definately the party everyone, including the seniors will be talking about in homeroom on Monday!! LINDSAY LOHAN RULES!!!!


- Some of the elder folk think that I am touched in the head, but hopefully I will be touched in the pants on April 2nd.

SHAZAAM!!!

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